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Breastfeeding is one of those parts of motherhood that comes with an extraordinary amount of advice, expectation and, often, judgment. Mothers are told about the benefits of breastfeeding, encouraged to breastfeed exclusively for the first six months and reminded that breast milk provides important protection for babies, but far less attention is given to what happens between those recommendations and real life, when a mother is recovering from birth, feeding around the clock, trying to understand whether her baby is getting enough milk and wondering why something that is supposed to be “natural” can feel so difficult.
The evidence is clear that breastfeeding and human milk offer important health benefits for both babies and mothers. The World Health Organization and American Academy of Pediatrics recommend exclusive breastfeeding for approximately the first six months, followed by complementary foods alongside continued breastfeeding for up to two years or beyond, as mutually desired by mother and child. Human milk provides essential nutrients and contains antibodies and other biologically active components that support an infant’s immune system, while breastfeeding is associated with a lower risk of several childhood infections and important maternal health benefits, including a reduced risk of breast and ovarian cancers. [1][2]
Knowing the benefits, however, should never mean turning breastfeeding into a measure of whether a mother is doing motherhood “right.”
Breastfeeding is natural, but that does not mean it is easy.
Breastfeeding is a biological process, but learning how to breastfeed is still a new skill a woman learns after childbirth. A newborn may struggle with attachment or milk transfer, while a mother may experience nipple pain, engorgement, concerns about milk supply or simply exhaustion from feeding every few hours, including overnight.
The CDC reports that about 60% of mothers do not breastfeed for as long as they intended, with lactation and latching difficulties, concerns about infant nutrition or weight, pumping demands, medication concerns, lack of parental leave and inadequate support among the factors that can contribute to earlier-than-intended cessation. [3]
That statistic is worth paying attention to because it changes the question from Are mothers trying hard enough? to Are mothers getting the support they need?
What can actually help?
Breastfeeding support should be practical, accessible and available before a mother reaches the point of feeling overwhelmed.
Prepare before birth. Breastfeeding education during pregnancy can help mothers understand feeding cues, positioning, attachment, common early challenges and where to seek professional support. WHO evidence suggests that breastfeeding counselling and education can improve breastfeeding outcomes, making pregnancy an important time to prepare rather than waiting until after delivery. [4]
Do not ignore persistent pain. Some tenderness can occur as breastfeeding is established, but significant or ongoing pain, nipple damage or difficulty with feeding deserves attention. A lactation consultant can assess positioning, attachment and milk transfer and help identify what may be making feeding difficult. The AAP recommends that skilled lactation support be readily available to mothers who want to breastfeed. [2]
Look at the whole picture when assessing whether a baby is getting enough. It can be difficult to know how much milk a baby is consuming when breastfeeding, which is why mothers can become anxious about every feed. Diaper output, swallowing during feeds and appropriate weight gain provide more useful information than simply counting minutes at the breast. If there are concerns about weight, feeding or milk transfer, a pediatrician or qualified lactation professional can assess the situation rather than leaving a mother to guess. [5]
Follow feeding cues rather than chasing a perfect schedule. Newborns often feed frequently, and WHO recommends breastfeeding on demand during the day and night. Frequent and effective milk removal is also important in establishing and maintaining milk production. [1] Understanding this can help mothers recognize that frequent feeding, particularly in the early weeks, does not necessarily mean something is wrong.
Ask before stopping breastfeeding because of medication. Mothers sometimes receive conflicting advice about whether a medication is compatible with breastfeeding. The AAP notes that most maternal medications are compatible with breastfeeding, although individual medications and circumstances should always be assessed with an appropriate healthcare professional. [2] Rather than making assumptions, mothers should have access to someone who can help them understand their specific situation.
Build support around the mother, not just the feeding plan. Breastfeeding does not happen separately from postpartum recovery, sleep, mental wellbeing, nutrition, work or family circumstances. A mother returning to work without adequate pumping facilities is facing a very different set of challenges from someone with flexible time and support at home. WHO and UNICEF recognize counselling, skilled health services, community support and supportive workplace policies as important parts of creating an environment where breastfeeding can be initiated and continued. [6]
The judgment around breastfeeding needs to change.
Mothers can be judged from almost every direction when it comes to feeding their babies. They can be questioned for breastfeeding in public, for breastfeeding “too long,” for supplementing with formula, for pumping instead of nursing, for stopping earlier than planned or for choosing not to breastfeed at all.
The irony is that mothers are often told how important breastfeeding is without being given the practical support that can make breastfeeding possible.
The AAP emphasizes that parents should receive evidence-based information that allows them to make informed feeding decisions without pressure or guilt. [2] That principle matters well beyond the clinical setting.
A mother who wants to breastfeed deserves skilled support without being made to feel inadequate when she struggles. A mother who needs to supplement deserves guidance rather than shame. A mother who pumps exclusively deserves support for the demands that come with pumping. A mother who decides not to breastfeed deserves accurate information and respect, and a mother who stops earlier than she intended deserves compassion rather than assumptions about how hard she tried. Because feeding a baby is not a character assessment.
What mothers need is support that continues?
One of the biggest gaps in breastfeeding care is that support can disappear just when mothers need it most. Questions rarely arrive neatly during a scheduled appointment; they show up at 2 a.m. when a baby suddenly seems to want to feed constantly, when pumping output changes, when breastfeeding becomes painful, when a mother is unsure whether a medication is safe or when she simply needs to know whether what she is experiencing is normal.
That is why breastfeeding support should extend beyond the hospital and beyond a single postpartum visit.
The goal is not to create one perfect breastfeeding journey for every mother. It is to make sure mothers have access to trustworthy information, qualified support and appropriate clinical guidance as their circumstances change.
Breastfeeding has real and well-established benefits, and mothers deserve to understand those benefits without being made to feel guilty when their experience does not match the ideal. They deserve honest information about the challenges, practical strategies that can make feeding easier and support that recognizes the mother as a whole person rather than simply the person providing the milk.
Breastfeeding should be supported, not policed.
If you are pregnant, newly postpartum or somewhere in the middle of your breastfeeding journey and have questions about feeding, milk supply, nutrition, medications, postpartum recovery or whether something you are experiencing needs attention, Myri is here to help.
Open the Myri Health app to access evidence-based guidance and personalized support throughout pregnancy and postpartum, or ask Maya your questions anytime and get trusted, evidence-based information to help you feel more informed and supported in the moments when you need it most.
Sources
[1] World Health Organization. Breastfeeding and Infant and Young Child Feeding.
[2] American Academy of Pediatrics. Policy Statement: Breastfeeding and the Use of Human Milk, 2022.
[3] Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. About Breastfeeding Data.
[4] World Health Organization. Breastfeeding Education and Counselling.
[5] World Health Organization. Breastfeeding: Questions and Answers.
[6] World Health Organization and UNICEF. Infant and Young Child Feeding.
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